Dear Mom Dad Brofessor Girl Ladyfriend Funkmaster Godzilla ,
I'm writing you on this fine and glorious solstice day eve case day commando day weekend to thank you from the bottom of my plums heart quads liver bowels gourd feed bag . Seriously, you're the greatest Gal Mom Pop Mamma Jamma Bromo Sapien Maestro Beebopper that has ever walked this rock planet muther great green goodness moon earth soil .
Why, you quip ask ponder inquire posit exclaim query ? Well, you don't know it yet, but you made all of my Holiday Kwanzaa Christmas Hanukkah wildest most krumptacular dreams come true by gifting me the most glorious pair of thigh emancipators quad liberators quadzilla jail-breakers Shortsmaster Flexes known to mankind. Chubbies shorts to be exact. And let me tell you right now, these things are even silkier than my love-making sheets Charlotte's Web ram's fleece the finest linens Egyptian Cotton Trump's smoking jacket : I'm talking silkier than sir Silky Von Silkenstein and we all know that hombre is S-I-L-K-Y.
And so, Mother dearest My funky fresh father You beautiful a**hole You righteous parent You cyclone of rad , I will close with one final, Hearty Beefy Bodacious Glorious Magnificent Robust Righteous , THANK YOU.
You've made my Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa year decade lifetime and you don't even know it yet.
- Sincerely Righteously Bodaciously Epically Mostly yours,